Get It To Work
by muffinanarchy
Summary: Get it to work. That's all he wants.


I've recently started RPing as Jefferson on twitter ( CursedHatter if you're interested) and this was the starter I posted. I thought I'd upload it on here as well. If it's popular, I may explore more of the backstory that I have in mind for him on here. _  
_Disclaimer: I don't own Jefferson. He belongs to the writers of Once Upon A Time.

* * *

_Get it to_ _work_. 

I have lost count of how many times the needle has pricked my fingertips. It has become nothing more than a welcome pain, reminding me that I'm still here - that I'm still alive.

I need to keep making them. I need to get home. I promised her I would be home for tea. Grace... My Grace. My poor Grace. I hope she's looked after. I hope she doesn't hate me for this. I never meant for this to happen. I never expected to not be coming home. 

_Get it to work._

Two go in, two come back. That's how it works. That's how it's always worked. I can't change it. It has a mind of its own. You have to go back with the same amount of people that you came in with. No more, no less.

I didn't want to do it. I didn't want to go back there. I didn't want to be that person again. I did it for her. My Grace deserves a better life. She deserves to have that White Rabbit for her tea parties. She deserves to have whatever she wants. 

_Get it to work._

I hate it here. I hate this place. The first time I was here and I met that girl, that stupid, silly girl. I hated it. I didn't want to be here. I couldn't find my way back to the door. I couldn't get out. I was stuck here. They called me mad. I'm not mad.

It never worked the way I wanted it to work. Ever since I made it, it's always worked how it wanted to. I open the portal, but it decides the rules. It brought me doors. So many doors. Doors for everywhere I could have wanted to go. Doors that soon became errands. That soon became jobs. 

_Get it to work._

That's how I met her. That's how I met the woman that gave me my Grace. That I married. I brought her back with me. Two go in, two come out. One pair went in. A different pair came out. She got me to stop it. She got me to hang up my job for a while. We had my Grace. My wonderful Grace. The woman... My wife... I don't say her name anymore. I don't think about her often.

She died. She died because of that stupid thing. I shouldn't have gone back to it. It was just a few jobs. Just a few errands so we could afford to get by. I shouldn't have taken Grace to the market that day. I shouldn't have left her alone with it. All I remember is blood. Blood covering everything. She protected it. She kept it hidden. She lost her life because of it. She lost her life to protect me. 

_Get it to work.  
_

I need to see her. I need to be home for tea. I promised her. I should be there. I should be there for her. I need my Grace. 

* * *

Jefferson focused on the hat in his hands, hoping it would work. His eyes, tired and sunk, stared at it desperately. He needed this one to work. It had to work. The green fabric was soothing under his calloused and bleeding fingertips. The feather was a special touch, to give it flare. He poured his heart into making the hat. If he gave it everything he had, it was bound to give him something in return. That's how he had made the first one. It was sheer luck that magic had poured into it, but after years of owning the first one he thought that he had a good harness on magic. He had it inside of him, he knew that. He couldn't use it like he owned it, though. He had to pour it into something. His magic was different. His magic opened portals to other worlds. All of them, he'd been to. This one had always been his least favourite.

He despised Wonderland. He hated it with every fibre of his being. To be stuck here, away from his daughter, was the worst punishment that anyone could have given him. His daughter was the only thing that was keeping him going. Without Grace, Jefferson would have given up long ago. He would have stayed beheaded. He was only making the hat to get home to her. He didn't care what the Queen of hearts wanted. He just cared about Grace. He wanted to get home to her. If Regina had harmed her, he would stop at nothing for revenge.

Jefferson grunted in frustration at the thoughts, placing the hat on the floor. He stood up and breathed in heavily, shutting his eyes. Flashes of his home, his daughter, broke the darkness of his mind. He allowed himself to have a few moments like that, just thinking of everything he would be going back to. When he opened his eyes, determination had taken over him. He spun the hat slowly, like he had done with his first one. He gave it another spin, this time faster, and stepped back. This was it. He knew it. This one was going to work.

He watched the hat spin around, the green starting to slow down. It fell still, completely empty. Jefferson stared, feeling himself start to sink to the floor. Of course it hadn't worked. It would never work. He picked up the hat, feeling the green fabric under his fingertips again, before he threw it behind him. It was worthless, just like he was. He brought his knees up to his chin and wrapped his arms around them, rocking backward and forward. Ever so slowly, he felt his body start to shake – but it wasn't shaking with sadness. It was laughter. The sound echoed around in the room, coming back to him and filling his ears.

"Get it to work." Jefferson said, rocking. The materials around him were waiting to be made into new hats, and one of them was going to work for him. One of them was going to get his magic.  
He let go of his knees and reached for a needle and thread, getting ready to make another.

Behind him, hundreds of hats lay. Hats that had never got him home. Hats had become his entire life. Hats had gotten him his new name in Wonderland. And one hat, just one hat, was going to work someday.

One of them was going to take him home to his Grace.


End file.
